5 Times Harvey Made A Fool Out Of Himself, And 1 Time Mike Did Too
by The Lady Rogue
Summary: When Harvey realises he's fallen in love with Mike, he spends the following five minutes swearing quietly at himself in the privacy of his office. That's when he also realises that he's left the comm on, and Donna is not so subtly laughing at him from behind her desk.


1.

When Harvey realises he's fallen in love with Mike, he spends the following five minutes swearing quietly at himself in the privacy of his office.

That's when he also realises that he's left the comm on, and Donna is not so subtly laughing at him from behind her desk. When he catches her eye, she stands and enters his office, closing the door behind her.

"What's wrong, my darling twat-faced imbecile with nothing but fluff for brains?" She asks, quoting one of his more creative insults back to him. He glares at her and stands, gazing out the window, staring into the distance.

"Mike." He finally admits. She's like a dog with a bone when it comes to him, and will wrangle the information from Harvey eventually. "I've fallen in love with him."

Nothing but silences answers him. Eventually Harvey turns. Donna is looking solemn, and there's an unusual softness to her face.

"It's worrying that you've only just realised that." She says.

"Fuck." Swearing doesn't help, but it doesn't harm either.

"I've got the Blackwater briefings!" Mike announces cheerfully as he bursts into Harvey's office. "Oh, hey Donna." Donna smirks at Harvey before turning to Mike.

"Hey Mike, got to go, the phone doesn't answer itself." She leaves. Harvey stares at Mike. Mike frowns back. He shuffles forward, case files in hand.

Harvey snatches them from him.

"Get out." Mike recoils slightly, and scuttles away. Harvey sighs.

"Smooth." Donna remarks over the comm. He flips her the bird, and amusement crosses her face.

2.

The next few days Harvey learns to live with his revelation, ignoring Donna's snide comments. Then he sees Rachel leaning over Mike's desk, her breasts practically shoved into his face.

"We're going to lunch." Harvey snarls. He drags a bemused Mike away.

"It's three. I've already had lunch." Mike complains. Harvey curses internally.

"Who said anything about lunch?" Harvey replies. Mike frowns.

"Uh… you did."

"No I didn't. But we are getting coffee."

"Right." Mike says. "Coffee. Okay."

3.

The next time it happens Harold is pressing up against Mike in a bar. Harvey glares at Harold until the associate runs away. He might be crying. He tries to feel guilty, but fails miserably. Mike comes and joins him.

"So weird." Mike mutters. "Harold just sprinted out the bar, tears running down his face."

"Odd." Harvey remarks. "Would you like a drink?" Mike smiles, bright and brilliant.

"Yeah! I think Kyle owes me one actually."

"No!" Harvey hisses, sounding more aggressive than he should. Mike raises his brows in surprise.

"I mean, I'll get you one. We can discuss the Clarkson case." Mike settles.

"Alright." He says cautiously. "Bud light, please."

Harvey hates that he feels fond of Mike when he orders that vile excuse for a drink.

4.

The jealously becomes a problem when he sees Jessica place her hand on Mike's shoulder, and he ignores her for three days, not that she even notices. Rationally, he knows that Jessica would never be interested in Mike, not in a million years. Irrationally, he wants to kidnap Mike and wrap him up with cotton wool, and hide him away in Harvey's apartment.

"Kidnapping's illegal?" He double checks with Donna. She laughs.

"Shouldn't you be staying away from Jessica?" Harvey hisses at Mike when he next sees him.

"Jessica, our boss, Jessica?" Mike confirms, a strange expression on his face.

"Yes! No! Why?" Mike's grinning now.

"Because you want me to stay away from her." Mike reminds him.

"Yes. We don't want her to discover our secret." Harvey says. Mike frowns.

"Okay… but Harvey… Jessica already did. Three months ago. Don't you remember?"

"What! Of course, I was just testing your memory." Harvey growled.

"Testing my memory." Mike repeats. "My eidetic memory." Harvey nodded.

"Wouldn't do for you to lose it."

Mike snorts. "Okay Harvey, whatever you say."

5.

Donna's curled around Mike, hugging him in an intimate and highly inappropriate manner. She winks at him when she catches his eye. He clenches his fists.

"Are you okay, Harvey? You've been acting really strangely lately." Mike asks as he detangles himself. Harvey is glad he no longer can blush, else he'd be so red he'd match a tomato for colour. "You even looked flushed. Are you running a fever?" Mike adds. Harvey swats the questing hand away and flees the room.

He checks in a mirror. He is blushing! He hasn't blushed since he'd graduated high school! He wipes a hand over his face.

This Mike… problem… is really getting out of hand.

+1.

Mike turns up at his door. He's holding flowers and a cheap bottle of scotch.

"Let's watch Star Trek, make out, and then have wildly hot sex." Mike says.

Harvey slams the door in his face. He rests his forehead against it, then yanks it opened again, only to get punched in the face by the hand Mike was using to knock with.

"Oh shit, oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'll just leave." Mike babbles.

It hurts. It'll probably bruise. Harvey doesn't care. He grabs Mike's hips and yanks him forward, planting a kiss on him. Mike returns it and when they part he looks dazed.

"Can we skip to wildly hot sex?" Mike asks hopefully.

"Definitely." Harvey growls. And if he leaves a few subtle bruises on Mike to remind everyone, Mike included, exactly who he belongs to, well, Harvey's not to blame.

* * *

Post-credits scene:

Something weird is going on. Every time Louis comes near Mike, he has a near fatal accident. Mike would think it was a setup, except the accidents are too random, too impossible to be the result of design. The only person Mike could think of that would devote the time and effort into nearly killing Louis several times a day is Harvey. But he wouldn't do that just to keep him away from Mike… would he?


End file.
